singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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