Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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