i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
