she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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