I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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