Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
