You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
