Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
