wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
