If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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