Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
