Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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