Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
