she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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