I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
