well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
