Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
