If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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