It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
