Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
