i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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