Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
