May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Two words: blizzard sex
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
