what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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