You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
