She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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