How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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