you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
