my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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