Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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