shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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