It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
