How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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