He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
