This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
