I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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