I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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