Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Randomize
