I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
