Do vagina's smell?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
