I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
