I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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