i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
