scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
