your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
