She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
