1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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