so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
