Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize