You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
