Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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